Chapter 4

I knew I was going to have some sort of nightmare, but not this one. 

Not this old, horrifying nightmare that I can never pull out of and is so realistic, it’s like reliving it. 
And that's something that definitely scares me.

I’m working hard next to Dad on a bright and warm early fall afternoon when he’s called away to make some sort of deal with someone in town and it couldn’t wait until we’re done working for the day. “Keep on working and I’ll be back soon.” I nod and resume bucking the last of the hay. A few tons later, Dad still hasn’t come back. I finish up fast and ask the old farmer if he needs anything in town. He gives me a list and a sack of coins and I walk into town. On the way, I find a small pool of blood and my heart starts to race while my feet pick up the beat. No one comes down this way except us. Someone took Dad.

In the square, right in front of the fish market is my father on his knees with his forehead bleeding gradually. Peacekeepers surround him and I can see that they’re tying him to the nearest post. I’m frozen where I stand as I watch one pulls out a cat o' nine tails tipped in metal and starts beating him with it. I can see every whiplash, hear Dad’s cries of pain, and even feel his misery deep within me. The last thing I heard come out of his mouth was my name. It was around the sixtieth strike and blood was pouring down his back when I saw someone say something to him. His head turned and his eyes caught mine. Tears cascaded down his face when he screamed, “Run, Caroline!” The whip wrapped around his skull and the man swore. That’s when he pulled out his gun and shot him in the head then in the chest for good measure.

I screamed and started to sprint for the forest when I looked behind me and saw none other than the Devil chasing me down. I get to the forest before Him and crash through the underbrush. Suddenly, I trip on a root and as I fall I know I’m going to die. I flip onto my back as he falls on top of me, choking me. I try to suck in air, but the only thing that comes into my mouth is smoke. Finally, as I start to die from lack of air and smoke poisoning, He turns into a Peacekeeper and clubs me on the head.

I sit up in my bed, screaming, trying to remove the sheets from my neck that’s threatening to suffocate me. When I get a grip and the blankets fall away, I begin to cry. Next thing I know, I’m running to Jake. I throw open the door and hurdle onto the bed. He’s awake instantly and pulling me against his chest, letting me cry. Who knew that I could cry this much in one day? When I had at long last spluttered out, he asks me what happened, so I told him. “That one again?” I nod, wiping my face for the millionth time. “It’s been forever since you’ve had that one. Do you want to stay with me?” I nod again and he crawls out of bed, slipping me between the covers. “I’ll be right back, I’m-.”

“Don’t leave me!” I cry, desperately clawing at the comforter around me, sitting stock straight.

“Do you really want to share the only pillow?” I don’t answer, so he comes back. “Fine, then: I’m going to sing for you.” As he starts to sing the sweet melody, his voice wraps around me and sends my mind into a stupor. I can’t think about anything but the words, and yet I cannot remember them. As he designs the world of the words, I’m drifting off to sleep. My head on his chest, the very warm blankets around us, and the sound of his voice and his heartbeat marching together in time makes me want to sing for pure happiness. Suddenly, I was thrust out of that beautiful, perfect world and I quickly snapped to attention. “Why did you stop?” No answer. “Jake?” Still, no answer; his breathing had gotten quiet and even. “I hate you for falling asleep first.” I snuggled a little closer to him and his heat; I softly hummed the music to his song, yet somehow it sounded haunting coming from me as I feel back asleep.

A shriek woke me and I find it’s Celestia. “Why are you in here?” I rub my eyes and lift my head to see Jake still sleeping. One hand is still on my back while the other is splayed across the bed. My hands are on his chest and my legs are intertwined with his. “I had a nightmare and I came to Jake. He sang to back to sleep.” I nudged him and he jerked. He looks so much cuter when he sleeps; much younger- A totally different boy than the one who works out on the oilrig.

“Good morning, Caroline.” His big, sleepy smile disappears when he notices Celestia. “Hello.”

“Get up, eat, and then we prepare.” Wow, a short message. I sit up and leave, Jake behind me telling me not to go. I’m giggling the whole time I dress into a black sequin mini skirt and a black tube top while doing nothing to my hair besides brush it.

Abel’s quite happy with me when I finally get to the table. “You’re basically glowing!” Even he can’t ruin my mood today, I think as I scarf down more fruit. My smile gets bigger when Jake shows up. “Oh you two didn’t even wait.” He smirked.

“No,” I said through my pear. “I had a nightmare, so I went to Jake and he sang for me.” Jake nodded in agreement.

Abel scoffed. “Singing: Big deal.”

“I don’t sing for just anyone. I don’t even sing for my family.” He shook his as if to clear it as much as he was dismissing Abel.

“So, what kind of nightmare was it?” Now he’s turned to me: Fun.

“I’d rather not talk about it.” And there goes my good mood.

“Come on, honey: You can tell me.” Ugh, I could almost taste the alcohol on his breath. It’s gross; I don’t know how people can drink all the time.

“No. This is a nightmare no one should know unless if they knew what it’s like. Or if they even knew about it in the first place.” My appetite is gone mow too.

“Oh, so it was about good old Daddy, wasn’t it?”

Maybe it was the way he said it or the sneer on his lips, but I lost it. I slapped him so hard, digging my nails in, that he was uprooted out of his chair all while screaming. “You don’t know what it’s like to have your father killed in front you and then have the rest of your family die, too. Don’t even get me started on trying to provide for a family of lazy, fat people and then having to clean up their blood when it’s all over. I’m so sick of you getting drunk! Can’t you just put down the bottle long enough to help us?” I storm out of the stunned room too pissed off to say anything more. But after talking about them, I begin to relive all of my family’s deaths. Dad’s first, Anna’s two weeks later, Mom’s three weeks after Anna’s; and poor little nine-year-old Joseph, three months after Mom’s.

I’m silently crying, fingering my token. A token is something you get to take into the Arena from your old life. Mine is a little plastic ring with a red plastic “stone” that sits on my ring finger now. Originally, it fit on my right thumb, but as I grew I had to keep moving it from finger to finger.

Originally, it was a marriage proposal from an eight-year-old boy to an eight-year-old girl: From Jake to me.